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The Littlest Matchmaker Page 11
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A pang of yearning sat hollowly in her chest. As much as she insisted on standing on her own, that “team” thing sounded good, too.
“I wanted to make this special for you,” Kevin was saying. “I had to ask a few questions of Courtney.”
“So, do you at least like sushi?” she asked.
He smiled. “I decided I liked the shrimp once the guy at Cherry Blossom told me it’s cooked.”
“And the rest of it?”
“Maybe fried up or grilled, or one raw bite after a helluva lot of sake,” he said.
She laughed. “I saw the face you made at the sake. You’ve signed up for your own personal meal from hell, haven’t you?”
He gave her a crooked smile. “I can’t complain about the company.”
“Did you do this just for me?”
“Since you never do anything just to spoil yourself, yes,” he said.
She knew she should be touched, but mostly his offerings made her uncomfortable. Kevin had no idea that she’d spent the last year of her marriage listening to James’s sad eulogies over the life he’d forsaken just for her. The things he’d sacrificed just for her. His homeland…His career as a playwright, even though she’d done all she could to encourage him to continue writing. She’d learned that the paybacks for all that manly sacrifice could be a bear to handle.
“So there’s nothing here you would have chosen for yourself,” she said.
“Ah, but you’re forgetting something very important,” Kevin said. “I chose you.”
And with those three words, Lisa’s brain finally, blissfully closed up shop for the evening.
KEVIN DIDN’T CONSIDER himself wholly clueless when it came to women. He’d been in committed relationships, and he’d been in relationships that had left him feeling as though he should be committed. But at this point in the admittedly young evening, he wondered if he should have skipped the sushi and hired an interpreter of female nuance instead. He understood the words coming from her mouth; the subtext was totally another issue.
Lisa stood and then picked up the sushi tray. “Refrigerator and plastic wrap?”
“Kitchen,” he replied. No way was he going to speculate about where this would lead. Instead, he brought her there and covered the sushi for her.
“And now?” he asked.
“I’m assuming you have someplace warm and soft and with sheets used for their original, intended purpose?”
For this he needed no interpreter. “I just might.”
Kevin took her by the hand and led her up the newly drywalled stairway, then to his bedroom. Earlier, he’d drawn the blinds and left the bedside lamp on so that the room would be their private space. She entered and, as she had in the living room, wandered and touched…first a picture on the dresser of him with his family, then a thick wool sweater he’d left draped over the arm of his great-grandmother’s rocking chair, then the foot of the bed, where an afghan his sister had made for him years ago lay folded.
“Is this what you had in mind?” he asked.
He didn’t know which he liked better, her smile or the invitation shining in her eyes.
“Exactly,” she said. “Very nice, too. I have to say that’s the biggest bed I’ve ever seen.”
Kevin could do without a whole lot of frills in life, but the one thing he required was a king-size bed. He worked damn hard and liked to sleep well.
“It has lots of room to share,” he said.
“I won’t take up very much, and it will be right next to you.”
“That works for me,” he said. “Now, come here.”
She hesitated, but then came closer. Not close enough to touch, though.
“It’s been a long time for me,” she said. “But I guess you’ve already figured that out.”
The thought had crossed his mind. It had been a long time for him, too.
“No rush. It doesn’t have to happen tonight,” he said. Tough words—ones that fought against every cell in his body—but they needed to be spoken.
Lisa shook her head.
“But I think it does. For me, at least,” she said so quickly that one word flowed into the next. “I know I said I wanted to take it slowly, but for the past couple of weeks all I’ve thought about is what it would be like…what you’d be like.”
What he’d be like? At that moment the answer was hungrier for her than he’d ever been for a woman in his life.
He watched as she drew a choppy breath, then sent more words reeling his way. “There are all these questions I need to ask…safe sex and all of that…but I’ve only ever been with James, and all of this is so stupidly awkward for me that—”
He gave her credit for raising all of this, but her nervousness was killing him. He took her hand, brought her up against him, and gave her a kiss that he hoped would remind her who she was with and how much he cared about her.
“I’m healthy,” he said. “I’ve got my doctor’s word on it. And I figure you already know this, but I’m not the kind of guy who shares himself with someone new very often. I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”
And he meant that in more than a safe sex sort of way, though he doubted she’d want to hear that. She was too into making it on her own to recognize that an extended hand wasn’t the same thing as one holding her back.
“Thank you,” she said and then kissed him so sweetly that he didn’t want to let her go. But there was one thing he did want to see let go.
“Could I see your hair down?” he asked.
She didn’t speak, but slowly removed the ponytail elastic that held her hair in its workday style and then shook her hair loose.
“Amazing,” he said as he winnowed his fingers through it.
Even against his rough palms, it felt like silk. Kevin slipped one hand around to the back of her head and brought her mouth to his. And while he kissed her, his other hand went on a foray for the warm skin right where her top met her jeans.
Lisa pulled back.
“Hang on,” she said.
He was, by a thread.
She reached for her top’s hem, then pulled the garment up over her head and let it drop to the floor. What he saw next made that thread fray even more: Lisa in a shell-pink scrap of a bra that scarcely cupped her breasts. He reached for her, but she shook her head.
Her gaze locked with his, she toed out of her shoes and then reached for the button at the top of her jeans. His heart slammed loudly, and he was most definitely feeling it in places south, too. She unzipped her jeans and left them at her feet. Her panties matched the bra…lacy, pink and pretty much for decorative effect.
Kevin watched as she turned back the duvet and the top sheet, and then stretched out on the bed. His side of the bed, not that he planned to lodge a complaint. He had spent more than one restless night right there, wondering what it would be like to see her with her hair spread out on his pillows, to touch and taste and give and take pleasure. He’d been a patient man both because it was his nature and because Lisa deserved that and more. This moment was his reward.
“Take off your clothes…slowly. I want to remember this,” she said.
And what a reward it was.
Chapter Ten
When had she forgotten about the beauty of a man’s body? Lisa couldn’t pinpoint the date—didn’t want to, anyhow—but she would never forget again. Kevin was beautiful, the sort of lean and muscular man that made her mouth go dry and her pulse hum. She’d known that he was fit. He had to be, given the physical nature of his job. What she had underestimated was her own hunger, how just the sight of him would make her tremble. As he shed the rest of his clothes, she knew she should say something…anything…to ease the intensity of this moment, but she couldn’t. All she could do was watch.
“Any other requests?” he asked in a light tone when he was done.
All she could do was shake her head.
“In that case…”
He moved onto the mattress, his weight bringing her closer to him. She resettle
d on her side and reached out to touch him, resting her palm over his heart. It was drumming as quickly as hers. Feeling bolder, she slid her hand downward to the defined ridges of muscle on his abdomen and traced the thin line of hair that arrowed down to his erection. Beautiful. No doubt about it.
He rolled her onto her back and kissed her deeply. To be touched, to be held, skin against skin. She had forgotten the heavenly heat, the sighs, the whispered words.
“May I?” he asked before unhooking her bra and slipping it away from her body.
“Please?” he asked before sliding her panties down her legs.
And then she was bare to him.
Logically speaking, Lisa knew there was little difference between being naked and wearing the small bits of underwear she’d had on, but now she felt bared…too much so. She wished that she could show the same confidence in her body as Kevin had with her, but James’s indifference had left scars. Unlike the silvery stretch marks on the sides of her breasts and low on her belly—what she considered her beloved Jamie marks—these weren’t visible. They ran deeply, though. She reached for the sheet, but Kevin stilled her hand.
“You’re beautiful.”
She turned her face away. “No. Compared to you, I’m out of shape and—”
He put a finger beneath her chin and brought her back so that her eyes had to meet his. “You’re beautiful. Inside and out, every day, you are beautiful. Don’t hide yourself.”
She could feel the start of tears burning in her eyes. She let her lids slip closed, hoping to fight back the wave of emotion.
“Hey,” he said in a soothing voice. “We’re new to each other. It’s okay. And it’s okay to cry, too.”
She looked back at him. “I don’t want to, but…” She reached one hand up and wiped her eyes. “Damn. I’m sorry. I’m just…”
“Overwhelmed?”
She nodded.
He pulled her closer. “I’ll let you in on a secret. So am I. I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve wanted you.”
“Really?”
“You get the truth from me, always. Besides, you watched me get undressed and you can feel me against you now. It’s more than obvious that I find you beautiful and I want you. I told you I’d never lie to you, and my body can’t lie. You, Lisa Kincaid, are beautiful.”
He slipped down in the bed and placed a kiss just below her navel. “You’re beautiful here.”
Two slow kisses followed, one for each breast. “And here.”
Finally, he kissed her forehead. “And without a doubt, here. You’re smart, and brave, and tough. But right now…right here…it’s okay to be a little less tough…to let me in. You’re safe.”
Lisa felt the last measure of reticence melt away. Kevin was a man of integrity, of honor, and that was just as arousing as the feel of his strong body against hers.
“How about here?” she asked, touching a spot on her right collarbone. “Am I beautiful here?”
He laughed, then obliged her with another kiss.
“And here?” She presented the inside of her wrist.
He kissed her there.
“Everywhere,” he said, and then proceeded to prove just that.
Time became something without meaning as they learned each other’s bodies. Never could she have imagined how well her soft curves would mesh with his hard planes. She was about to reach lower, to touch him more intimately, when his hand closed over hers.
“I’d love it,” he said in a thick voice. “But it would be too much right now, okay? In fact…”
He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, then reached out and opened the nightstand drawer. Because she couldn’t stand the loss of contact, while he sheathed himself with the condom he’d taken from the drawer, Lisa came to her knees behind him and kissed his neck where it met the broad plane of his back. She knew his low groan was one of pleasure.
He looked over his shoulder at her. “You know that promise I gave of taking things between us slowly?”
She nodded.
“I don’t think it’s going to be so slow this time.”
She settled one hand on each of his shoulders, leaned close and said, “I think we talked about this in lab class. Practice makes perfect.”
“Good point,” he replied, and she could hear the laughter in his voice.
He reached for the lamp to turn it off, but she stopped him.
“I like it this way,” she said. “Let’s stay in the light.”
He had her on her back so quickly that this time she laughed in surprise. His answering smile was slow and sexy.
“Let’s,” he said.
And in that moment, she opened herself to him, body and soul. Later, when they both were ready, he entered her slowly. She gasped at the feeling of completion. This wasn’t love, she told herself. Love was too big, too scary, too binding. This was passion, hot and perfect, and only for so long as they both wanted it.
Kevin kissed her deeply, then started a smooth rhythm that her body instinctively matched. In time, their dance became deeper, stronger, more assured.
“Beautiful,” he said before kissing her, and she held tighter to him…to this moment.
More, he demanded and more she gave. Her skin grew damp and her breath shallow as she reached a precipice she’d not been near in so long.
“You’re safe, Lisa,” Kevin said. “Come with me, now.”
There was no denying the connection, the need, the command. And so she let herself rise with him, fall with him, and spin off into a sort of peace she had never felt before. And later, when she lay with her head pillowed on his chest, she reminded herself that this could not be love.
MORNING ARRIVED WITH the blare of rock music from a radio station not quite tuned in. Lisa came groggily awake in the dim, predawn light and tried to figure out where the heck the music was coming from. She attempted to roll toward the closest edge of the bed, but the covers had been tucked so tightly around her that she was mummy-wrapped.
Kevin entered the room, silhouetted by the light shining in the hallway. He switched off the alarm clock.
“Sorry,” he said. “I forgot to turn it off, earlier.”
“What time is it?” she asked, combing her fingers through her sleep-mussed hair.
“Early…Six.” He sat on the edge of the bed.
“That’s not all that bad,” she replied. If she were home, she’d be getting up at exactly this time to shower and make breakfast before waking Jamie. Now that her eyes had adjusted, she could see that Kevin had indeed showered. His hair was still sleek and damp, but he was fully dressed.
“It looks as though you’ve been up for a while,” she said.
“Couldn’t sleep. Busy mind.”
If she were feeling braver, or even slightly more alert, she would have asked what had been keeping his mind busy. Instead she decided to skirt the issue.
“I should probably get up and get ready to pick up Jamie,” she said, trying to recall if her purse had ever made it upstairs. Sushi and sake had arrived in the wee hours of the morning, after Kevin and she had made love yet again, but even the evidence of their meal had left the room.
She drew back the covers and moved to the edge of the bed. “My purse…”
“Purse? You mean that giant bag that could house a family of three?”
She smiled. “That would be the one.”
“I moved it into the bathroom. I also put out fresh towels for you.”
“Thank you,” she said as she rose.
She’d thought to slip by him, but he stayed her, then ran his hands up and down her bare arms in a comforting motion.
“I liked having you by me last night,” he said. “I liked knowing you were there.”
She tilted her head and assessed his expression. Serious. Sincere. And maybe a little sad.
“Even with your busy mind?” she asked.
“Especially.”
“Thank you,” she said.
She might have told him how s
he’d awakened in the dark, feeling lost and out of place. But then she’d cuddled closer and relaxed into the steady rise and fall of his chest until sleep had returned. But her feelings were too new, too unsettling to share aloud.
“You’re welcome,” he replied. “Literally. Any time you want to be here.”
She glanced at the clock and thought about the day ahead. Suz was opening Shortbread Cottage, so that was under control. She needed to get Jamie to Courtney’s, then return to the bakery and get some fresh scones going. Her life was one tightly timed loop of tasks.
“‘Want to’ and ‘able to’ often aren’t the same thing,” she said.
“I don’t know about that. Most of the things I’ve wanted in life, I’ve found a way to get.”
Kevin was right. And she was evading.
He shook his head, whether impatient with himself or with her, she didn’t know. “Go on and get into the shower. I’ll have coffee waiting when you’re done.”
“Thank you,” she said for a third time in less than a minute. Maybe she was being a chicken, but at least she was a polite one.
JUST MINUTES BEFORE SEVEN, Kevin pulled up in front of the office. He would have gone in, except Rose and Scott had beaten him there, and he needed prep time before engaging in another round of musical desks with his brother. And so he turned up the tunes in his truck and had a swallow of coffee from his travel mug.
Lisa and he had shared breakfast in the small confines of his kitchen. Although the meal could have been intimate, it hadn’t been. Lisa had mentally checked out and moved on with her day as soon as she’d awakened. He couldn’t be too critical, though. His restlessness had permitted him to process his thoughts in solitude. To decide how he felt—and why—without an observer. He owed her that much in return.
He’d known that last night was going to be complex. They’d been engaged in a relationship dance long before either of them had recognized it. Sure, he’d gotten there first, but he still had plenty of fodder for introspection.
Was he in love?
Maybe. He had a lot to think about before he knew for sure, though. While he was undeniably a one-woman-at-a-time guy, he’d never been the sort to toss out the word love. To him, that was the whole thing…the ’til-death-do-you-part thing. Serious stuff, that.